Relationship Readings, Part 1

Often when someone goes for a reading, they already know the answer to their question; they simply need a safe space to discuss their concerns and talk about options for moving forward.

In the interests of saving time for everyone, here are the answers to some frequently asked questions.

1. Is my partner cheating on me?
Yes. If you are worried enough to discuss this with a total stranger, you already know this.

2. I caught my partner cheating on me. Will they cheat on me again?
Yes. They may be more careful this time, but if you are having this worry, you already know this.

3. But they said they were sorry, and promised to change!
They are not sorry they cheated; they are sorry they got caught. They may or may not be sorry that they’ve hurt you, and they may or may not intend to change. If they haven’t shown actual effort to change, then you are the one who has to live with the risk of being hurt again.

4. When will my partner ask me to marry them?
Never. They’re happy with things the way they are, and see no reason for change.

5. I want a baby, but my partner says they don’t want one. I *know* they’d love having a baby, they just need to give it a chance. Should I “forget” my birth control and get pregnant?
No. Not unless you want to be a single parent. Even if they stick around, you will be a single parent.

The problem with all of these questions is the expectation of others’ behavior. You want someone to do a specific thing (be faithful, get married, become a parent) that is not what they want. No amount of wishing on your part is going to make it so; it’s up to the other person to make the decision and make the change.

What you can do is set healthy boundaries, and enforce them. You can take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally, and focus on what *you* want to do with *your* life. If the other person can’t be who or what you want, then you need to let them go. However much that may hurt now, is it worse than living with the daily hurt of being with someone who does not want to create a life with you?